BANK ROBBERY GONE BAD CLAIMS 3 VICTIMS

From the Pittsburgh Press:

Yet another bank robbery took place yesterday afternoon, this time with even more disastrous results. When tremors and chaos subsided, one security guard and two bank tellers lay dead, and the building was nearly reduced to rubble.

At approximately 4: 45 p.m. yesterday, the costumed and masked figure of wanted fugitive and former Eighties Gang member Walkman appeared at the First State Bank in Robinson Township, shooting sonic rays from his fingertips. He blasted down the door and opened fire on the three people within the bank, killing all three almost instantly. He knocked down the vault doors, and in a rage, almost destroyed the entire bank building, getting away with an undisclosed sum of money. PTA forces arrived within moments, but the sudden ferocity of the attack had the villain making good his escape minutes before the PTA reached the scene. Witnesses in adjoining buildings reported feeling tremors and hearing crashing sounds, followed by the sight of Walkman flying away using some kind of winged gadget, and yelling "Release the Burke Brothers or my reign of terror will continue!" as he departed. PTA Director Martin Gregory held a press conference several hours later, and reported that, despite the continued attacks, authorities are not close to apprehending Walkman. His flight capabilities are making tracking him nearly impossible, and the PTA are working with airport officials to utilize airline radar in an attempt to pinpoint Walkman's flight patterns.

PARAHUMAN ALTERCATION AT LOCAL HOSPITAL, PTA SUMMONED

From the Detroit Free Press:

The PTA was summoned to Mercy Memorial Hospital yesterday afternoon, to respond to reports of a superpowered altercation that began in a patient's room, spilled out into the courtyard, and ended up across the street, with one combatant unconscious. Bystanders and witnesses reported that the fight broke out at around 12:25 in the room of hospital patient George Finch (a victim of an assault last week), between a cloaked and costumed woman (shown here) identified by PTA as calling herself "Caress of Death," and another, unidentified woman. The fight was soon joined by a werewolf, whom PTA officers have identified as Loup Garou (James Greywolf). The three fighters soon went out the hospital window into the courtyard below, where some report that Greywolf battered both women into unconsciousness, then stood on the lifeless form of one, grinning while PTA officers appeared on the scene. Greywolf and the aforementioned Caress of Death were both taken into custody, while the third woman made good an escape. PTA officers reported that, based on eyewitness testimony and evidence, the woman calling herself Caress of Death matches the description and abilities (acid secretion from the hands) of a criminal who has recently purpetrated a number of Detroit-area crimes, including break-ins at MSU Detroit, STAR LABS, and Saint Agatha's Orphanage. She is being held without bond. Loup Garou/Greywolf was questioned and released, charged with one count of illegally engaging in superpowered combat in a public place, and one count of property damage. Court officials report that Garou immediately entered pleas of no contest, and paid a fine of approximately $1500. PTA officers continue the investigation into the identity and motives of "Caress of Death."

PTA ESTABLISHES NATIONAL TRAINING BASE NEAR YAKIMA

From the Yakima, Washington Herald Republic:

Regional PTA Director Helen Cutter this morning made an announcement which took local officials and the media by complete surprise -- the PTA has established a national training center and command bunker approximately 30 miles from Yakima. Although the specific location was undisclosed, Cutter stated that "we've been developing the facility for some time, although the local citizens may not have been aware of our activities. Obviously, the PTA operates hand in hand with local and national security agencies, and our need to operate without publicity is well known. However, we are happy to be partnering with your Yakima local government in announcing the opening of the PTA's new Northwest Regional Command and Training Facility nearby. You may now begin to see PTA operatives relocating to this area, patronizing your restaurants and local businesses, and helping the local economy. We estimate that at least 150 full-time positions will be created here." Chamber of Commerce President Wally Edgeforth was effusive in his endorsement: "well, it's sure a welcome surprise for the business community here." While reaction from the government and business side was universally positive, the day was not without dissent. Amber Gould, Director of Yakima Citizens Against Violence, spoke up at the question and answer session, pressing Cutter on whether any studies had been conducted to determine whether the facility could become a target for increased parahuman activity in or near Yakima. Cutter responded that "we are confident that our facility poses no danger to the local citizens."

UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO COMPUTERS DESTROYED IN LATE NIGHT BREAK-IN

From the Chicago Sun-Times:

Campus police at the University of Chicago this morning reported a break-in last night at their state-of-the-art computer lab and complex, after which many of their computer systems were either wiped or destroyed. Campus Security Director Ted Wassum noted that the break in had been expertly accomplished: "All our security systems were disabled -- our cameras circumvented -- infrared and pressure plates avoided. We have no trace of evidence to suggest who might have done this, and no motive to go on." The computer systems in the lab constituted the heart of the new academic program at U of C, and were the nerve center of the Computer Sciences and Electrical Engineering Departments. Damage to the systems was estimated at over $8 million dollars, although University sources reported an anonymous donor, when notified of the damage, had immediately pledged a donation sufficient to cover the losses. University President Harold Reimer noted that "it's sure been an interesting morning. With the appearance of this donor, it does not appear that our programs will be disrupted for more than a few weeks. However, the data on our computer systems is irretrievably lost. We hope the authorities can discover who did this to us."

STRANGE SYMBOL SEEN IN THE NIGHT SKY

From the New York Times:

A strange symbol was seen and photographed by millions of New Yorkers last evening in the night sky over Gotham. Centered over Central Park, the symbol appeared to some to be a green hourglass, while to others it appeared to be the logo of former Justice League member Green Lantern. Still others reported seeing the logo for local retailer Oliver/Thompson clothier. Representatives of that company were contacted and denied reports they were running an advertising or publicity stunt in New York this evening. The symbol was seen from approximately 8:30 p.m. until 10:30 p.m., when it vanished as suddenly as it had appeared. PTA Chairman Cecil Dunlop noted that the PTA believes the incident was some sort of prank, attempting to prey on persistent rumors that some remnant of the Justice Leage remains active in New York...

AlertForce Comic Issue 25

SCHEDULE CHANGES

We have too many people now to keep doing the "Everyone gets one night a week" schedule. We have 7 people and 5 nights available (no, I'm not going to GM every night). We are therefore going to have to go to a 7 person rotation. This will mean you will not be able to have the same night every week, but I just don't see a way around that. Any other way and two people either have to sit out for a week or more, or people have to double up on nights involuntarily, which I'd like to avoid. I think we should keep it at one person, one night, and if you want to get together and have more than one person acting, then you are free to invite others into "your night."

With this new system, if you want to trade off nights to get the night that is better for you, that's fine. Just email me the changes.

In addition, under the new system, if Person A misses or is offline on their night, Person B can step in and use the night (at the GM's discretion if there are more than one person available). Person B then has to email Person A that they used the night, and Person A gets switched into Person B's next scheduled night. So if you miss without trading your night, you may get bumped a day or two, but not of the whole schedule.

I can't think of a fairer way to do it than this. If anyone has suggestions, I'm open. Otherwise, here is the schedule for the next month:

9/26 Greg
9/27 Rox
9/28 Paul
9/29 Bryan

10/2 April
10/3 Tim
10/4 Dickie
10/5 Greg
10/6 Rox

10/9 Paul
10/10 Bryan
10/11 April
10/12 Tim
10/13 Dickie

10/16 Greg
10/17 Rox
10/18 Paul
10/19 Bryan
10/20 April

10/23 Tim
10/24 Dickie
10/25 Greg
10/26 Rox
10/27 Paul

10/30 & 10/31 NO Gaming. Possible general event (like last friday's hurricane, where everyone can participate) on 10/30. A new calendar for November will be posted later.

ORPHANAGE BURGLARIZED

From the Detroit Free Press:

Police were summoned this morning to the Saint Agatha Orphanage on Olive Street, to investigate a break-in, in which files were stolen and the orphanage's office ransacked. Investigators say the burglery occurred sometime around 4 a.m., and residents indicated that strange noises were heard downstairs during the night, but that the children who heard the sounds were too frightened to alert the house's headmistress, whose room was down an adjacent corridor, further from the sounds. Police investigators report that the filing cabinet containing residents' and former residents' birth and placement records was broken into, using some type of molecular acid on the locking mechanism. "It's the darndest thing. You could have jimmied that cabinet with a crowbar or even a screwdriver, but someone took the trouble of using molecular acid. That's the kind of thing we sometimes see safecrackers using on high-tech bank jobs." Lieutenant Frank Dobbs, the police investigator in charge, noted further that "we are looking at the possibility of a birth mother trying to find an orphaned child, but we have no suspects at present."

MIAMI BATTERED BUT NOT DESTROYED BY HURRICANE HEATHER

From the Miami Herald:

Last night at approximately 7:45 p.m. Heather slammed into the coast of Florida, centered on Key Biscayne, and hammered Miami with 175 mile per hour winds, torrential rain, and a storm surge that saw 14 feet of water flowing in the streets of the barrier islands and at least 5 feet of water on mainland streets for several hours.

Nevertheless, due in large part to combined efforts of the PTA under Director Rutherford, and a newly resurfaced band of supers, only 27 lives were lost, and no major bridges, buildings, or roadways were obliterated by the storm.

Despite the PTA's crackdown on all parahuman activity in the past several years, it was reported that a significant number of superpowered persons -- both so-called superheroes and supervillains -- appeared and attempted to assist in defense and relief efforts. Sightings included:

• The public unmasking of Iron Knight and cooperation with the PTA to help evacuate citizens from the barrier islands. In a relatively anticlimactic moment, Iron Knight reported to PTA Director Rutherford that his true identity is "Philip Walker." PTA sources are telling media outlets they believe this is a bogus identity, and analyzing Iron Knight's "unmasked" face to determine whether a second level disguise was in place. Even so, Iron Knight was spotted carrying stranded flooding victims to safety and communicating with the PTA during the storm.
  
• Various reports of a werewolf running, jumping, and swimming on Key Biscayne, assisting stranded people, including a father and daughter trapped in a truck by rising water.
• Numerous sightings of a flying female in black and gold armor and another flying female in a blue and white costume and mask, protecting the oil refinery tanks on Fisher Island from damage by floating debris. No one has yet been able to identify these two parahumans.
  
• Sightings of Miami's own Snow Angel and another unidentified "ice slinger" (whom some have suggested was a former supervillain from Atlanta called "Blizzard") coating various bridges and causeways with protective layers of ice against damage by debris, wind and water. City engineer Carlos Rodriguez surveyed the bridges this morning and reported his belief that the ice saved at least three to five bridges from severe structural damage.
• Several reports of a green-haired speedster running across the surface of rising waters carrying stranded victims to safety. Media searches have revealed that this figure may have been a small-time criminal from Pittsburgh called "Afterburner."
• Unconfirmed reports of one PTA agent named Peterson standing guard at the Command Center, and using energy bolts fired from his hands to clear debris from nearby flooded streets.
• Hundreds of other unconfirmed reports identifying everyone from Batman to Captain America to Aquaman appearing and rescuing stranded victims, saving homes and property, and generally making a grand reappearance on the scene after years' absence.
  

While many of these reports have been confirmed and documented with photographic evidence, most are unconfirmed, and PTA officials are downplaying the role of "supers" in flood relief. Director Rutherford stated

"while it is clear that some damage was avoided through the efforts of these so-called supers, the fact remains that it was the PTA, the police and fire departments, the Coast Guard, and the National Guard that did the lion's share of rescue and relief efforts, and who will be here for the long term to help Miami and the surrounding areas get back on their feet. We are disappointed with the arrogant attitude of "Iron Knight" in refusing to submit to our questioning and testing procedures to assure the safety of those he comes into contact with, and the refusal to even work with us, by the other so-called supers who chose to take matters into their own hands. However, we certainly cannot deny that they were fortunate enough not to have caused more serious damage this time."

The 27 victims of Heather were mostly those who were unable or unwilling to evacuate the barrier islands, and authorities concluded the day by mourning their loss, but acknowledging that the city seems to have escaped much more significant damage this time, and should be able to return to normal operations within a matter of days, with cleanup efforts lasting several months, and costing approximately 2 billion dollars.

IRON KNIGHT TO BE UNMASKED

From the USA Today:

In a stunning move, former AlertForce leader Iron Knight issued a press release yesterday indicating he will tomorrow morning submit to a PTA interrogation, and will cast his secret identity aside to obtain government permission to assist hurricane victims in Miami. We asked USA Today readers whose face they believe will be revealed when the mask finally comes off:

1. Millionaire Industrialist Tony Stark - 23%
2. Billionaire and former Presidential Candidate Lex Luthor - 19%
3. Brad Pitt - 12%
4. An alien - 11%
5. A robot - 10%
6. Former Green Lantern Hal Jordan - 5%
7. Who cares - 5%
8. God - 3%
9. other responses - 12%

HEROES SQUARE OFF AGAINST HEATHER, THE GOV, AND EACH OTHER

From the Miami Herald:

Karl Manchester, City Beat Correspondent

As Heather crashes on Miami Beach, her 180 mile per hour winds are not the only forces swirling around our emperiled city. Governor Bush and his PTA have drawn a line in the swiftly swirling sand, daring AlertForce and its Iron Knight to come forward to take accountability for their actions, and stand shoulder to shoulder with non-parahuman (read as PTA) rescue and relief workers in efforts to prevent or remedy storm damage and loss of life.

Two very different heroes have responded to this call in very different ways.

In a press statement released this afternoon, Iron Knight responded to Governor Bush's recent call by stating that he will appear and sign on with the PTA, casting his "secret identity" aside in favor of saving lives. He went on to chide the Governor for attempting to make a political statement in the face of impending disaster, promising to put helping people as his highest goal. It remains to be seen what will happen tomorrow morning when Iron Knight faces the Governor's appointed PTA bulldog, Southeast Regional Chairman Gerald "Crash" Rutherford, at the PTA command Center, set up at Southwest 262'd street at Bauer Drive, miles inland from endangered areas.

As public opinion swirls over the desirability of superpowered guardians (and the government's reaction to them), this reporter was able to obtain an exclusive interview with Miami's own Snow Angel, to get her reaction to the situation.

Snow Angel, speaking on condition that her own location and identity be preserved, implied that she will not be registering with the PTA, but noted that she will indeed be at the forefront of storm resistance activities, seeking to use her powers to protect Miami's citizens and infrastructure. She scoffed at peoples' reactions to the controversy, noting that "if there's trouble and a superhero knows it, he's obliged to help. Let's face it, the days of the bat signal are gone, and I dare say Batman wouldn't wait for an invitation to help." Although reference to the Batman might not endear Miami's resident snowflake with city officials, she showed equal disdain for Government's reaction to the offers of help from her colleagues in the parahuman community. "We all know how the government feels about those of us with special powers and I doubt that the threat of a hurricane is going to change their minds." When asked what she thought she could do to help Miami in the face of nature's force, she simply said "I'll do my best and I won't abandon the city."

However the next few days turn out, for good or ill, Miami is not only the scene of impending hurricane winds/ It is also, for now, the epicenter of our ongoing national debate over the proper place of parahumans in our society.

YET ANOTHER BANK HEIST

From the Pittsburgh Press:

Yet another bank robbery took place last evening in the wee hours, this time at the Federal Reserve Bank Downtown Pittsburgh, almost right on the doorstep of both the Police and PTA offices in the City building at the other end of Grant Street. Alarms rang out at 3:45 a.m. this morning, as walls fell, floors crumbled, and vault walls flew from their moorings like so much plywood. The perpetrator, captured this time on video and identified by authorities as former 80's gang member "Walkman" burst into the bank using paranormal powers to blast walls and doors away with sonic beams. With apparent ease and planning, Walkman entered the building housing the Federal Reserve vaults, made off with an undisclosed amount of money, and left a note demanding the release of the Burke brothers, currently awaiting trial for a number of previous bank robberies. PTA director Martin Gregory could not explain how Walkman was able to get in and out so quickly, and promised a prompt manhunt and capture of the villain. "Now that he has revealed himself as the culprit, we should be able to track and detain him relatively quickly," said Martin, under fierce questioning from press and city officials.

ALERTFORCE RETURNS?

ON CNN at the top of every hour today:

Linda Ross, Reporting:

It appears that the superpowered group known as AlertForce is coming out of its defunct status in the face of the looming hurricane in Florida. CNN and a number of other news outlets received the following videotape this afternoon, apparently depicting former AlertForce leader Iron Knight, giving an offer of assistance in Hurricane relief to Florida Governor Peter Bush...

"Hello I am Iron Knight, member of the super hero team once known as Alert Force. We have been complying with your laws and have been in retirement for many years. But I say this to you now. We can help you. We can help save lives. We can help stop some of the destruction you are about to face to your homes and property. I have made an offer to Governor Bush telling him we are willing to help if asked. I implore you to let us help you. I remember the death and destruction of Katrina when super heroes where not allowed to help and had to stand by and watch as people lost their lives. Please, allow us to help you now. Call the Governor and tell him to accept our offer. We only want to help."

The tape, which PTA officials are even now analyzing to determine its authenticity, has created a firestorm of controversy surrounding the efforts of Florida Governor Peter Bush to muster government resources for the upcoming hurricane relief effort. The Governor's chief of staff has confirmed that contact from an unknown individual claiming to be Iron Knight was recieved earlier today. Sources in the Governor's office are claiming the sudden reappearance of controversial paranormal team AlertForce at this moment is causing more harm than good, by diverting the attention of the Governor, his staff, and the press from necessary hurricane planning to dealing with a deluge of calls from citizens, some urging him to take up the offer of assistance, and some condemning the offer as a fake, or worse.

Bush made a statement this afternoon, stating that "we all know how placing our trust in so-called superheroes ended up years ago. Although the lure of being saved by a heroic figure from the sky is a strong one, I believe it is incumbant upon us to see to it that our own, normal resources, are first utilized to their fullest extent before we throw up our hands and pray for rescue from above. However, I certainly welcome help from any source, and invite this alleged 'Iron Knight" and his teammates, if any, to come here and meet with PTA authorities. If they are willing to place themselves completely under government and PTA direction and control, I'm sure we could use their abilities in this time of crisis. What we do not need is more vigilantes deciding who gets to live and who gets ignored. If they are willing to advise us of their so-called secret identities, and sign on with the official agencies to render assistance at our direction they are welcome to help. We cannot, however, have a bunch of people running around without training, control, or accountability, likely causing more harm than they prevent."

Bush did not field questions after his statement...

HORRIFIC HEATHER HEADS FOR COASTLINE

From the Miami Herald:

Hurricane Heather, with sustained winds topping 175 miles per hour, continues to bear down on the Florida coastline. Meteorologists are predicting that unless the storm changes course in the next 24 hours, it will strike somewhere in the vicinity of Miami proper, and will cause devastation on the order of three to four times that of Hurricane Katrina in 2005. Authorities continue to watch the storm's progress, and will order an evacuation within the next 12 to 24 hours if no change is seen in the storm's course. Governor Peter Bush requested neighboring states to mobilize national guard and other rescue agencies early should the worst happen. Highways out of Miami are already experiencing heavy traffic, and state Highway Patrol officers are hoping that an orderly evacuation can be accomplished if necessary...

GRAVE ROBBERIES SOLVED, CULPRIT APPREHENDED

From the Pittsburgh Press:

Police were stunned last evening by an anonymous tip that led them to the home of Sarah Lockwood, 433 Anderson Street in Sewickley. Once they arrived, they discovered a gruesome scene in the victorian mansion-style home. Lockwood (57), had been chained to a pillar on the front porch, with a note indicating she was responsible for the recently-reported grave robberies and tampering at a Sewickley memorial park. On investigation, police discovered the remains of no less than 23 people, some on the first floor, laid neatly into rows, but most, in the basement of the home, strangely posed around the room, as if alive and performing different tasks. There were also signs of a struggle in the home, including scorch marks on several walls, and a hole apparently punched clean through the stairway leading to the basement, where the majority of the remains were discovered. Lockwood herself also had bruises consistent with an altercation. On interrogation, Lockwood identified herself only as "Maledictus" and informed police their agents had failed to do her real harm, and that the dead would rise again to do her bidding. Police took her into custody and alerted the PTA to possible paranormal activity, and both agencies continue to investigate. Authorities, however, are still not able to determine the exact method by which Lockwood had moved the remains from their graves to her basement without any traces or notice by other nearby residents. Neighbors interviewed did report seeing streaks of yellow light emanating from the home, along with the sounds of battle, earlier in the evening. Finally, police sources also reported that their investigations had shown that even more remains had been tampered with, but some, including those of noted researcher Nicholas Brundle (d. 2008), appeared to have been replaced in their resting places by whomever battled with Lockwood and alerted the police to her activities. PTA director Martin Gregory indicated that a second investigation will be opened regarding the identity of the individual who discovered and put a stop to these events...

PTA CAPTURES VILLAIN NEAR BIG SYCAMORE CANYON

From the Los Angeles Times:

PTA operatives acting on a tip from passing motorists this afternoon apprehended a supervillain calling herself "Casino." Casino, identified as Andrea Johnson of Las Vegas, attacked a car driven by James Greywolf (a Malibu resident), that was also carrying an unidentified passenger. Apparently Johnson hurled some kind of knives at the vehicle (a late model Jaguar), blowing out the tires. Thereafter, the occupants, apparently also super-powered, jumped out and a full scale super-battle ensued, endangering not only the participants, but also several other drivers passing by on the highway. Smoke bombs and flying kicks were seen by onlookers, and it appears that Casino was beaten back by the occupants of the vehicle and another super that joined the fray shortly thereafter. Greywolf turned Casino over to the authorities, who took her into custody, bound for the PTA incarceration facility at Alcatraz. Casino (Johnson) had been wanted for a number of crimes, including robbery and extortion, and may be extradited to Nevada on request of the Attorney General...

HURRICANE HEATHER APPROACHES FLORIDA COAST

From the Miami Herald:

... Meteorologists report that the Florida Coastline near Miami may be struck sometime this week by a category 5 hurricane, now brewing in the Carribean 750 miles southeast of Bermuda. Dubbed "Heather," this storm is boasting 165 mile per hour winds, and is meandering slowly towards landfall, expected sometime either Thursday evening or Friday morning. City and Dade County officials are bracing for the effects, indicating that if no change in the course of the storm is noted within the next 48 hours, evactuation will be ordered by Wednesday morning. National Guard, Police, and even PTA troopers are being placed on high alert to help deal with the storm's aftermath, should it make landfall near Miami...

'AFTERBURNER' STILL AT LARGE

From the Pittsburgh Press:

...A supervillain the PTA has identified as "Afterburner" is still at large, and operating in the Pittsburgh Area, says PTA Director Martin Gregory. At his now-daily press conference this morning, Gregory announced no progress as yet in apprehending those responsible for the recent grave robberies in Sewickley, the pitched battle on Mount Washington of last week, or in apprehending the other participants in the brawl in Shenley Park three days ago. He did, however, note that some progress has been made in a series of purse shatchings and minor assaults that have occurred in the Oakland/Squirrel Hill areas during the last several months, and announced that the PTA has identified the suspect as a woman calling herself "Afterburner." Gregory stated that "this woman apparently possesses the ability to run at extreme speeds, and should be considered a danger to herself and others. We have one blurry photograph, which you see here. Should any member of the public spot Afterburner, we urge you not to approach her, but instead to immediately contact the PTA." Police Chief Thomas VanKirk was on hand for the press conference, but did not take part and had no comment on the items reported by Gregory. This reporter wonders just how Gregory and VanKirk can justify retaining their positions in the face of upcoming City elections next year, when Pittsburgh has suddenly become the parahuman capital of the world, exceeding even Gotham and Chicago in the last 2 months in supervillain activity, very little of which has been countered by our Police or PTA Squad...

BRAIN EATER NABBED!

From the Miami Herald:

Karl Manchester, city beat reporter:



...Police and PTA officers were caught flat-footed last evening as the Brain Eater struck again on the Miami Boardwalk. This time the victim was none other than one of our own boys in blue -- an off duty Miami Police officer. But the story has a happy ending this time, as the day (or night) was saved by a new heroine on the scene, one "Snow Angel." Apparently, the Brain Eater grabbed off duty police officer Brad Peterson, and dragged him into the alleyway next to the Blast Arcade on the boardwalk. As he began his feeding ritual, to zap the brain of his victim and feed on the brainwave energy as the victim dies, he was interrupted by a blast of cold air, in the form of a block of ice forming around his legs and torso. He struggled to free himself, but never really saw what hit him as an ice mallet then slammed into his skull, putting a hurtin on the Brain Eater's brain, if you will. The serindipitous timing and appearance of the Snow Angel saved the life of officer Peterson, and put an end to the reign of terror caused by the Brain Eater. His victim list will end at seven names. The erstwhile Brain Eater is actually some kind of mutated lizard creature, able to somehow masquerade as a normal human, who was preying on the mental energies of his victims -- lying in wait along the boardwalk and striking without warning, then devouring the brain energies of his victims. Afterwards, the killer would take the bodies to the beach and dispose of them in bizarre ways to throw the police off the trail. The Brain Eater, identified as Leonard Krepps, owner of the Blast Arcade, confessed under questioning after police took him into custody. The collar was no mean feat for the coppers, however, as they had to drag a three-ton block of ice along with the suspect down to the station house. The ice was the result of the altercation between Brain Eater and our newest super vigilante, who possesses the power to generate large quantities of ice. After the battle, Snow Angel gave yours truly an exclusive interview, in which she noted "I think I'll stick here in Miami for a while." This is one Miamian who welcomes the help. Police and PTA officers on the scene, however, had no comment on Snow Angel's role in the arrest. In any event, beachcombers and boardwalk patrons can breathe a collective sigh of relief as our Brain Eating devil has been apprehended by a cool Snow Angel. I, for one, say Amen to that...

BIZARRE ALTERCATION IN SEWICKLEY CEMETARY

From the Pittsburgh Press:

...PTA Director Martin Gregory this morning informed the media that his officers had responded last evening to reports of a paranormal altercation in the Highland Hills Memorial Park near Sewickley. However, when they arrived, his officers made no arrests, as the altercation had ended and whatever paranormal perpetrators had been involved had made their escape. Gregory told reporters that his officers spoke to several local residents who live adjacent to parts of the cemetary, and that they had reported the sounds of battle, and flashes of light emanating from within the memorial park. Officers who investigated found scorch marks in certain areas of the park, including damage to a number of mausoleums, including the Miller, Marcus, and Brundle family memorial buildings, in the southwest part of the park. Officers also noted evidence of recent digging and tampering with a number of grave and mausoleum resting sites. "As strange as it sounds, we believe at this time we are looking at a grave robbing situation, and perhaps this battle was the result of a vigilante effort to stop it. We aren't sure at this moment how many resting sites are effected, and we are in touch with the operators of the facility to try to check records and inspect gravesites as delicately as possible, in order to ascertain if any remains were in fact disturbed. At present, concerned family members can contact the Pittsburgh Police, through Mr. VanKirk's office, to make specific inquiries regarding their loved ones. We are working in coordination with the Police on this aspect of the investigation." Gregory went on to assure the public that his PTA squad will get to the bottom of this potentially gruesome crime quickly...

SHOOTOUT IN SHENLEY PARK

From the Pittsburgh Press 9/14/05:

... More fireworks took place in the early hours of the morning this morning, this time in Oakland's Shenley Park. Less than 24 hours after PTA tanks blasted Mount Washington, an unknown super-powered individual or individuals had yet another altercation. Shenley's Panther Hollow has been left with a 30 foot in diameter crater, and the surrounding area littered with rock and debris, ranging from fist-sized to the size of a small car. Trees in the surrounding wooded areas have also suffered damage. Although no witnesses can recount exactly what occurred, Police Chief Thomas VanKirk reports that his officers were first on the scene, and were able to apprehend a large man calling himself "Avalanche." He had apparently been battered by one or more other parahumans into unconsciousness, in a rather epic battle that local residents claim could be heard over a mile away, and which broke windows in some downtown Oakland businesses. "We've responded quickly and contained the damage, and my officers were able to get the situation under control relatively quickly, and with no injuries to any citizen. We are hopeful that we will be able to get to the bottom of what happened and file charges soon," Vankirk opined. PTA Director Martin Gregory was unavailable for comment as to why Pittsburgh Police were first on the scene, as opposed to our expensive, and well-equipped PTA Squad...

All the NEWS that's fit to print....

From the Pittsburgh Press:
PTA REPELS SUPERVILLAIN ATTACK
...In the early hours of the morning this morning, residents of Mount Washington, already bothered by increased police and PTA presence of late, were awakened to the sound of all out warfare, as PTA Tanks rolled into the 400 block of Bigbee Street, while simultaneously stopping traffic on the Liberty Bridge. Concussions rang out in the night shortly thereafter, as PTA tanks discharged energy weapons at the hillside on Mount Washington and rumbled into an industrial property on Bigbee Street, leveling a smokestack there. PTA Director Martin Gregory was quoted as saying "several officers positioned in the former AM/FM hideout and base within the Mountain were attacked and captured by two individuals, one in a power suit reminiscent of the former Iron Knight, and one appearing to be a young woman, but with lightning reflexes and strength, who called herself 'Bane.'" Gregory went on to describe the initial tense moments after he learned of the attack. "We first learned of the attack when our alarm sensors were triggered. Apparently they came right down the smokestack through the hidden entrance we had located and placed a hatch on. However, the officers were overwhelmed and disarmed by the paranormal intruders. I attempted to negotiate a surrender of the intruders, but we soon learned that would not be happening, when they opened the hangar doors and tossed our officers out onto the hillside. We were just lucky no one was killed." At this point. Gregory directed PTA Tank Squadders to take up positions on the Liberty Bridge, and atop the Mountain, in an attempt both to seal off escape, and to force the intruders out of the bunker. "Apparently, the strategy to try to flush themout worked to some extent, because shortly thereafter a third intruder joined the battle, and flew the first two away, under heavy assault by PTA positions. We lacked the firepower necessary to bring down the new threat, and the intruders made good their escape," Gregory admitted. As the intruders flew away, they were wearing the costumes of AM and FM. "We feel this is some kind of paranormal protest of the recent indictments, or a misguided attempt to find the equipment confiscated from the bunker, which now lies in vaults at the Wheeling, West Virginia PTA incarceration facility, awaiting presentation as evidence at trial. Gregory promised to redouble efforts of the PTA to eliminate paranormal activity from Pittsburgh. Police Chief Thomas VanKirk could not be reached for comment on the situation.

FYI: the PTA Creation Act

24 United States Code Section 409:

409.1 Title
This act shall be known as the Paranormal Tactics and Agression Squad Creation and Empowerment Act

409.2 Purpose
The purpose of this Act is to enable Federal, State and Local governments to expend funds from their general revenue budgets to create and maintain Paranormal Tactics and Agression Squads for public safety and protection.

409.3 Enabling Creation of PTA Squads
Any Federal District, State, or Municipality may expend monies from its budget for the creation, maintenance and upkeep of PTA squads, as defined and governed by the provisions of 119 C.F.R. 202, for the express purpose of combatting and/or eliminating paranormal crime, including vigilantism.

409.4 Incarceration of Suspects/Defendants/Convicts
Any PTA Squad created under Section 409.3 above is specifically empowered, pursuant to the provisions of 119 CFR 203-7, to build, staff, and maintain an incarceration facility or facilities, for the purpose of housing paranormal suspects prior to trial, defendants during criminal proceedings, and convicted criminals with paranormal abilities.

409.5 Confiscation of Equipment and/or Facilities
Any PTA Squad which, during the course of investigation or arrest of paranormal felons, obtains equipment or premises which had been utilized by said felons in the furtherance of criminal activity, may confiscate, appropriate and use any such equipment or premises, to the extent consistent with the enabling and purpose provisions herein, without compensation to those from whom the equpiment or premises were confiscated. Any innocent third-party owner of said material or premises may make a claim with the PTA for return of the said equipment or premises, providing information or evidence establishing: (1) identity of the claimant; (2) ownership of the equipment or premises, and (3) how said equipment or premises came to be under the control of paranormal felons. If the claimant meets the burden of showing by a preponderance of the evidence that the prior owner had no knowledge or participation with paranormal felonious activities, the equipment and/or property shall be returned to their possession. Judgment of the PTA as to such return claims may be appealed to the Federal District Court of the district in which the PTA hearing officer sits.

Date of Enactment: November 23, 2009

More news...

From the Pittsburgh Press:
AM AND FM INDICTED
...The brothers Burke were indicted Friday afternoon, for seven counts of aggravated robbery, assault, mayhem, and unlicensed use of a deadly weapon. A federal grand jury issued the indictments at approximately 4pm Friday afternoon, leaving the Burke brothers to await trial sometime next spring. Deputy District Attorney Elizabeth Rabenold stated that "the State feels it has a strong case against the defendants, and we are confident of a conviction. We have issued orders for the PTA to hold the brothers in separate facilities -- one at the maximum security facility in Chicago, Illinois and the other in the PTA-run prison on Wheeling Island in West Virginia." Attorney Charlie Mack, who has entered his appearance on behalf of the Burke brothers, stated that the case against them is weak, and that unless the identity of the witnesses against them is provided, he will be seeking to have the charges thrown out...

From the National Enquirer:
JUSTICE LEAGUE AND AVENGERS STILL OPERATING!
...Sources close to the New York/Gotham City police department and PTA have informed the Enquirer that a number of former members of the Justice League and Avengers vigilante teams have been operating in that area in a secret "black ops" group called the Watchers. Led by none other than the former caped crusader Batman, it is rumored that the team now has over 10 members, consisting of at least the following: Batman, Black Canary, Green Arrow, Hawkeye, the Wasp, the Scarlet Witch, and the Martian Manhunter. It is unknown as yet where this team's hideout/secret lair is located, but sources close to the police report that PTA operatives are attempting to infiltrate the group and ferret out their hiding spot. The team's modus operandi is to control street crime, and strike at organized crime AND supervillain activity, but keeping a much lower profile than the erstwhile heroes (or their prior groups) did heretofore. The Enquirer will keep up to date on this story and report further details as they come to light.

EXTRA EXTRA

From the Miami Herald:
CORONER SAYS MURDER VICTIMS ALL HAD BRAIN INJURY
... Miami Chief Medical Examiner Harold Dobbs announced results this afternoon of his autopsies of the six murder victims recently discovered on Miami's beachfront -- four on August 18 and two on August 22. In his lengthy reports on the corpses, Dobbs noted that all six corpses had suffered a similar traumatic injury to their brains. Dobbs stated "we can be certain all six of these people were dead by the time they were placed at the beach. They had all been subjected to some kind of energetic injury to the skull, brain and brain stem. I cannot speculate as to the manner in which this injury was inflicted. The only thing I've ever seen that produced a similar effect was a sustained electroshock treatment -- but that method, even when utilized, was imposed only on very limited areas of the brain for therapeutic effect. These victims had generalized damage to all areas of the brain and brain stem. I can't imagine how such a thing occurred." Police sources have indicated that the investigation has found few clues other than the bizarre injury patterns of the victims, and the public has dubbed the killer "the Brain Eater." Chamber of Commerce reports show beach traffic and boardwalk revenues have dipped by a whopping 47% since the first murders took place, and Mayor Calvin Dietrich has demanded that all necessary resources of the Police, the PTA or any other law enforcement entities be put toward the investigation...

From the Pittsburgh Press:
POLICE INTERROGATING OTHER "EIGHTIES GANG" MEMBERS
... Police sources have revealed that Police Chief Thomas VanKirk, along with both Police and PTA officers, have been visiting prison facilities, both locally and in other areas, in order to question former "Eighties Gang" members in connection with the recent bank and armored car robberies that have taken place over recent months. Time is running short for VanKirk and the District Attorney, who have a deadline of 9am tomorrow to either charge or release the so-called "AM and FM" (brothers David and Peter Burke), who are both presently being held as the prime suspects on seven robberies. However, the occurrance of an eighth robbery, nearly identical in appearance, after the Burkes were taken into custody, has shaken the confidence of investigators that they have the right men. VanKirk noted that the Burkes were taken into custody largely based on video evidence received from an anonymous source, who has yet to be identified. "Without that source, we cannot legally authenticate that evidence, and without that evidence we have no legal basis to charge the Burke brothers. We know where the cameras were that took the evidence, but forensic testing on the computer where the video was stored damaged the media on which it was discovered. Unfortunately, that anonymous source is now the only one who can authenticate that video." VanKirk again expressed the need for police to identify and speak with the individual who provided the video evidence, and indicated that at this point investigators are focusing effort on identifying that source...

From the Spokane Spokesman-Review:
TWO KILLED IN WAREHOUSE EXPLOSION
...Police and firefighters this morning discovered two bodies in the debris during the cleanup of the Fifth Street Warehouse explosion reported yesterday. Fire investigators noted that initial reports that the warehouse had been deserted had apparently been in error. Sam Wattle, lead investigator, stated that "all of the employees and related personnel were accounted for. The place was closed for the night when the blast occurred. No one should have been in there." Police are attempting to pull video surveillance evidence from damaged computers found at the site in order to identify the victims, but it may be impossible to ressurrect data from the charred memory systems. Investigators have still not identified the cause of the blast, either. "We've ruled out a gas leak, chemical incendiaries, and a grenade or missile. Other than that, we're still looking at all possibilities. We'd like a little more cooperation from the building owners, but we can't even get a straight answer about what the technical parts and equipment stored here were for." Police representatives promise that additional information will be obtained shortly...

Headlines, for Zephyr to read ('cause the rest of you are still in limbo)

From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:
BILLIONAIRE, CR&D FOUNDER LOST IN UNEXPLAINED CRASH


... Another bizarre air accident has apparently claimed the lives of 7 people, including billionaire defense contractor R. William Flanders and his wife, Brandy. Flanders and his wife, along with Pittsburgh native Angela Rayburn and Chicago resident Jurgen Von Dietz were all travelling to Miami from Pittsburgh on a BAE Jetstream 41, a 30 seat regional aircraft operated by US Airways, when the craft apparently encountered severe weather and was rerouted to Atlanta. Approximately 22 minutes after receiving the rerouting orders, Captain Ralph Arragone contacted the Atlanta tower indicating the presence of severe lightning, and possible superburst activity. No further transmissions were received from the aircraft, and it disappeared from radar 3 minutes later. A full search has been put into effect by FAA investigators, but only the cockpit section has been recovered, along with the bodies of Arragone, co-pilot Randy Evans, and flight attendant Melissa Gompers. Although missing and believed killed, the bodies of Flanders and his wife, Rayburn and Von Dietz have not yet been recovered. Flanders, founder of CR&D, Inc. began his career as a researcher at Westinghouse Electric in Pittsburgh, PA, and founded defense contracting giant CR&D, which specializes in bomb detection equipment...

From the Pittsburgh Press:
POLICE AND PTA STUNNED AS BANK ROBBERIES CONTINUE UNABATED

....The First National Bank on Forbes Avenue in Oakland was robbed last night in a practical repeat of the city's seven recent robberies. Neighbors heard sounds of crashing stone, and police arrived within minutes, to find the bank's entire back wall demolished, the vault door knocked aside, and hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash missing. Police Chief Thomas Vankirk held a press conference this morning, and admitted he and the force are at a loss to explain how bank robberies continue, after the PTA's recent and well-publicized capture of the Burke brothers, the so-called supervillains known as "AM" and "FM," who police and PTA representatives had assured the public were responsible for the spate of robberies. Vankirk stated "we are re-opening our investigations, and trying to determine whether we were wrong about who committed the seven original robberies, and comparing those scenes to this newest robbery to determine whether we have the same perpetrator or perpetrators, or a copycat criminal."...